By Bela Gandhi, Smart Dating Academy, Founder & President
As much as we try to boost our own self-esteem and love ourselves, some days are harder than others. It’s hard when you’re messaging lots of people, but not hearing back. It’s hard when you like someone on a first date, and they don’t call you back for a second. It’s hard when you’ve been dating someone for a few months and they suddenly break up with or ghost you. Dating can be hard, but the mindset that we have is what will make us successful or not. Here are ways to make yourself into a dating rockstar by loving yourself:
1) Do something that you love every single day. You should never be too busy to include something that makes you feel happy and loved. Whether that’s a cup of beautiful tea in the morning, or a long walk after dinner listening to your favorite podcast. Reward yourself every day — and you will start to feel the self-love engine revving up.
2) Make a list of what make you awesome, and everything you’re good at / everything you’ve accomplished. This list should be LONG — if it’s not, you’re not digging deeply enough. If you need help with it, seek out your village to help you fill in any gaps. Put this list somewhere you can see it every single day so it becomes internalized. Knowing why you’re great will help you to talk to those awful, negative self-loathing voices that we all have in our heads.
3) Be around ‘elevator’ people. Surround yourself with people that bring you up — that make you feel good about yourself. They are kind, supporting, compassionate, and they think you’re amazing. As much as possible, try to eliminate the toxic people in your life, the critics, naysayers, and Debbie Downers. Sometimes, we can’t get rid of all of them because they’re family or neighbors – but work to minimize your time with the ‘negative elements’ in your life. Having elevator people around you as much as possible will help you to love yourself more by absorbing the love around you.
4) Get out! Join groups with like minded people, and be open minded about becoming friendly with new people. Human beings value relationships about most things — and building new relationships excites us and makes us happy. You might meet your new best friend at that pottery class you’ve been debating about. Just do it!
5) Exercise — There is nothing to boost your mood more than generating some beta endorphins and a good sweat. Working out generates happiness from the inside, reduces anxiety, and builds our confidence. Put exercise in your life every single day, and watch how your mood increases — and how much better you feel about yourself!
6) Write a loving letter to yourself. Tell yourself about what you are most proud of in your life, and give yourself the words and attention that you’ve craved forever from your parents, family, friends and exes. Say the words that you’ve always wanted to hear to YOURSELF, and watch how it makes you feel.
7) Learn a new skill — Think of something you’d like to learn to do or do better. Painting, knitting, swimming, golf, tennis, podcasting — and go do it! You’ll meet new people, and feel good about yourself because you’re pushing yourself out of your comfort zone!
8) Music! Make a happy playlist on Spotify or however you listen to music! Happy, fun music makes me want to hop out of my chair and have a dance party of one or with whomever is around me. Love yourself by giving yourself happy music to listen to — and it will certainly improve your mindset.
For more, watch Dating Tips With Bela Gandhi | Dating Rockstar here.